Love

It's really weird telling a stranger "I love you".  Even when that stranger is a bright-eyed chubby cheeked little face who lives in your house.

Of course kids, especially in the foster system, need to hear this every day. This ritual starts out feeling forced, and the day it just flies out of your mouth naturally surprising even yourself. Changing your perspective about love can make it feel less rigid. The super cliche wedding scripture lists out what love is:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1Corinthians 13:4-8

Patient, kind, protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres- These descriptors of love are not innately feelings. As humans, we choose to be patient- that one really isn't a natural thing at least as I have experienced patience, we choose to protect our kids, we choose to endure their tantrums, we choose to persevere through rough days, and we choose to hope for their future- whether its in our home, or another home.

In looking at love this way, it's easy to see that the second Jellybean stepped into our house, we loved him-We hope for his future, we struggle with him through his bad days and feelings, we do our best to protect him.

Emo Poetry

The leaves, the sky, the clouds, the air
OH, the humanity!
swwwiiiing swwwiiiing swwwiiiing.
Everything is dark and gray
when my parents won't let me play!
The swings they call to me
echoing through the crisp fall air
swwwiiiing swwwiiiing swwwiiiing.
One day we will be together again- but now my heart weeps.

                                                         -Jellybean

Weekend Drop Off

It's raining again
stuck in traffic again
are you crabby because we are in the car?
or because you know where we are going again.
keep singing twinkle twinkle twinkle, little star.
or listen to this book of tales from afar.

It's raining again
you will be visiting mom again
your little world is really quite confusing
when will be with your family again?
home...abstract to you possibly not even  really computing
this situation stinks, and is neither of our choosing.

Guardian Ad Litem

This week Jellybean met his Guardian Ad Litem (GAL). This is a person assigned to him through the courts to be an objective observer within the court system for the best interest of the child. They meet the foster parents, birth parents, and spend time once a month with the child. I imagine that it's more helpful and important to spend time with the child when they are able to talk about their experiences, but maybe they also read minds?

His GAL is a Gal, a trained volunteer. She will observe compile, and make suggestions to the court when decisions are being made there. Roman met her while I was at work- I'm so jealous!

This is Halloween! Everybody Make a Scene!

Since Jellybean has weekend visits now, we decided it would be a fun Friday night date to drink wine and clean the house. I put on a Halloween mix and we got out the box of decorations! Nothing like opening up a box of rubber bugs and eyeballs!

When he returned from the weekend we were eating dinner when he discovered the skeleton on the ceiling. He pointed and babbled something - then I pointed out another one on the other side of the room and he said "OOOh ho ho hoooo!" and started looking for them all over the house.

I switched out some toys and books to make them Halloween themed, and gave him a little dress up box. Needless to say- he is ready now: