Our Dumbass Car - an excerpt from Emily's Journal

 Once upon a time their was a couple of happy Morons. They needed a way to get from place to place faster than walking. One sunny day the Morons, along with Dad, went to Sparkles Used Auto. They walked around looking at all the shiny used cars.

An old man came out to ask which of the cars they wanted to test drive. After a few seconds of thought, the Morons chose a care based purely on looks, and hardly at all on function. They pointed at the Green Kia Sportage and asked to drive it- without prior knowledge of the make, or prior want for the model.

Daddy moron pushed every button and pulled every lever whild Mrs. Moron sped down the freeway. the heat didnt really work- but it was hot out, so what does that matter?  and the windows were very slow going up and down, and sometimes got stuck.

without thinking, reason, or logic on Mr and Mrs Morons side, they bought the car without looking at any other cars, or researching their purchase.

Later, Mr and Mrs moron became experts at timing which days they should take the car to the shop to get it fixed. Every other month they paid the mechanic a visit, and a check to add to his children's college fund.

Mr. and Mrs Moron left their small town to explore, and spread the wealth, as well as the frustrations the car created. The morons visited many mechanics throught Minnesota, South Dakota, Montana, and Wyoming only to find, none of them could fix the car.

Now, the Morons have quite a predicament on their hands. They live in the mountains, far from home, and other people, cities and cars. Their dumb-ass car doesn't go up hill. What are the Morons to do?

Here's the kicker: Roman's Dad is an expert mechanic..... but he lives in Slovakia...