Brave Face

We have been working a lot on building confidence, bravery, persistence, and independence. It's a painful process a lot of the time, but we had a great breakthrough this weekend.

When things get frustrating for Buttercup, her reaction is to completely shut down. She can't be talked through something, she won't walk away, she just is completely unreachable- crying without being to self-soothe, or calm herself down.

When she's in a better mood, we practice "brave face"


"strong face"


"smart face"


"I can do it" face


and of course "silly face" which I'm sure you can imagine.

I've been talking to her about doing hard things- sometimes instead of crying, you can just put on your brave face and do the hard thing anyway. Hard things include writing lower case 'e', riding a bike with training wheels, blowing bubbles in the bathtub, swimming, walking back to the car etc.

Biking has been a really touch and go thing so I decided we should go all the way around the block, so she did her helmet by herself, I grabbed Fred and we headed off. She soon got stuck on a very small hill with her pedals and poor leverage points. I continued walking giving her the choice to stand up on her pedals or get off and push for a few steps and try again. The total Shutdown began. It was an extremely painful 35-minute walk around the block- there are two hills en route and you can only say "KEEP PEDALING, NEVER STOP PEDALING, you're on a hill" so many times before insanity begins.



When we got back to the house, I traded dogs and we went around again- I was determined to break through getting her to persist to success. This time Buttercup didn't get stuck at all, but she did fall twice. I was a bit behind her and was wincing at how she would react to an actual injury. Surprisingly she cried for a minute, got up herself, and got back on her bike. I was shocked! Could it be??? Things I say are actually getting in her head and laying eggs in there????



She later fell again, didn't cry at all, turned and told me " Crying isn't a good choice". I was Speechless!



We ended up doing three laps, and she ended up being VERY proud of herself and her accomplishments. We even called Mama Lisa right away to tell her how well she did on the bike.

Now, to translate this into other aspects of life :D

Procrastination Station

There is nothing Buttercup is better at than procrastinating. She uses her charm, innocence, and curiosity to derail countless tasks during the day.



Almost nightly, Buttercup goes to bed, is content in her room for about 15 minutes before saying with a weak little pathetic voice "I have to go potty". Roman usually shout from our room simultaneously- "then go!" even though we know she went RIGHT before we tucked her in. Whatever, it's not a risk we are going to take if she wants to waste 5 min on the toilet then fine, right?

One night she went, and roman and I continued eating our snacks and watching Parks and Rec, when 45 minutes later we hear the toilet flush-we look at each other and laugh hysterically. She had gone to the bathroom, and we totally forgot. she must have fallen asleep or something because 45 minutes of sitting on the toilet far past anyone's attention span.

Camp Kristy! (respite)

Romans Brother is getting married! We planned a trip to the homeland before Buttercup came into our lives. So we are going to be gone for about Two weeks and she will be going to a respite house through the county. We decided to call it camp since through her experiences, Buttercup has not left a place- and then returned. We want her to feel safe, and happy and know she is coming back to our house when we get back- so we have been talking about our trip a lot.

In kid terms- Roman and I are going really far away, we have to take 3 planes to get there- But we are coming back to get you. We are also going to send so many postcards, but they won't get to our house until we are all back. We visited the respite house so she could know where she would be - there are other kids there and Kristy is really nice, I think she will have a lot of fun!

When she came to us, all her things were in a reusable bag. We already have a suitcase for her for when she returns home- but she gets to help pack to go to camp!

Scared of bridges....?

Often when we are driving there's a little worried voice from the backseat "Emmmoly? are we on a bridge? I'm scared of bridges..."

Explaining that bridges are strong and there's nothing to worry about does not comfort her so now we play games and identify bridges. We find people bridges (pedestrian) train bridges, and car bridges. Buttercup is really good at classifying bridges that are over us.



When we go under a bridge we throw our hands up to the roof of the car- like the game we played as kids. we also hold our breath through tunnels and plug our noses over bridges spanning a river. There aren't graveyards on our normal route- but when we come across one we will hold our breath there too.



what kind of weird car superstitions or games did you play as a kid?  we did all of these I mentioned, and also called fast cars "speedy wheeled butt snippers", and I believe my mom had a song about button pushing gadget freaks when people wouldn't stop playing with the windows.

Saints game, take 2

I'm so glad our Foster day at the Saints game got rained out! We had such a good time the 2nd time around! It was princess day, we saw all the favorites. It was a perfect warm sunny day too! we watched about 2 innings while we ate hot dogs, and then we did a few laps around the stadium looking for the piggy.

Princess Tiana was just as excited to see Buttercup, as Buttercup was to see her it was adorable!
Buttercup liked the cheering and the random clapping and singing that a baseball game brings she also enjoyed cheering for BOTH teams in a very "go sports!" kind of way

Preschool Graduation!

Preschool graduation was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. All the kids had little caps and gowns, and they sang this little rhyme. Buttercup looked so cute in her cap and gown, however, she was not into the ceremony. She was the one who wouldn't smile and refused to throw her hat. It was a kick.

They also all said what they  wanted to be when they grew up- there were doctors, policemen, teachers, and Buttercups answer "uhmmm a grownup!?!"

And the Oscar goes to:

Roman fixed up a bike we had, repainted it yellow, and we added pink streamers to it. We are learning to bike all over town. every sidewalk ramp is scary- and when things get wiggly Buttercup takes their feet off the pedals and swings them around which just makes everything wigglier.



On the way home from the park, Buttercup was going up a sidewalk ramp and in slow motion, the bike tipped over and she stood up- no scrapes or injuries of any kind. She then grabbed her knee and proceeded to hop and limp around. SO much so that another mom pulled over and asked us if we needed a lift.



To that mom: Thank you how considerate!
To my kid: Come on, brush it off and get back on the bike!

PreK Bad Day

Things buttercup cried over this morning: 

1. The "boy shorts" I chose because her rainbow skirt is dirty
2. The socks I chose (I gave her a choice, she chose secret choice #3- not choosing)
3. The sock that fell on the ground- how are you supposed to put one sock on if the other is on the floor????
4. The book I read at breakfast (I gave her a choice, she chose secret choice #3- not choosing)
5. The apricot in her bowl
6. The toothpaste cap- it wouldn't open, but no way can anyone else do it!
7. brushing teeth
8. Not wanting to put on shoes (I gave her a choice, she chose secret choice #3- not choosing)
9. Not wanting roman to put on her shoes for her (again secret choice #3)
10. Putting lotion on her face (again, secret choice #3)
11. Getting in the car

Roman wins patient parent of the day- because when all the women in the house are crabby- Roman Rises.

Flags, Paddles, no Potty

Happy Memorial day! 
We were planning some very patriotic festivities - visiting Fort Snelling for the parade and the costumes etc. But since it was 100 degrees we decided to go to the memorial day parade in Mahtomedi, and go out in the kayak.



Roman and I woke up early to get everything ready- 9:15 is early for a parade! this was the first time we put our 13 ft boat on top of our rav4- it looked proportionally normal, much less clown car-esque when it was on top of the Yaris. Buttercup and I did our best with red, white, and blue, and Roman had a giant eagle face on his shirt.



We walked down to the parade, without water in the heat, and had a good time naming the dogs that went by and waving our tiny flags. Buttercups favorite part was the marching band- so thanks to all the high school kids waking up early on their day off school.

Later, we went to the lake, it was Buttercups 2nd time in a kayak, she wanted to paddle almost the whole time. She has nice big muscles and a lot of stamina. We saw a few turtles, baby fish swimming under the kayak, and we watched a bird catch a fish. There were a lot of paddle splash wars- to combat the heat.

My favorite part of the day was when we were trying to leave the busy boat launch. as soon as we got out SOMEBODY had to go potty. She and I went down to the water and I was explaining how to squat down and be discrete and pee. Of course, it didn't end quite that ladylike. we were standing in ankle deep water, she was screaming "I haaaave to gooooo pooootttyyyy" as she trickled into the lake. Multiple boats were waiting their turn in the launch- we had quite the audience- and I was just laughing hysterically. Then Buttercup screamed as I squshed her legs in the water to rinse off. All in all, a hilarious interaction at the lake.

Huckleberry Finn

There's been a growing number of neighborhood kids appearing in our yard. I was watching Buttercup and Isaiah play while mowing the grass with a manual mower. ALL the kids came running up and wanted to try it.



Everyone got a chance, I only had to do the section around the tree roots! Turns out classic literature has some life 'hacks' in it after all.

GO SPORTS!

Through the foster program, we got to go to a Saints game for foster night!



We drove there through the rain, thinking it would clear up, Buttercup wore her adventure boots and my raincoat just in case. There was face painting (pink with glitter), a balloon sword, and a little party in the outfield with food and crafts, and ice cream.

In preparation for the game, we watched The Sandlot and started playing catch. I got some velcro mitts and Buttercup is pretty good when she's looking at the ball- we will keep practicing.



The game ended up getting rained out- but we got tickets for another day. while roman exchanged tickets, Buttercup and I had great fun splashing in all the puddles. It was a great night, and we didn't even get to watch baseball- Maybe we can watch baseball next time!

Stickers are Gold

A few days into Buttercups placement, we started using a weekly sticker chart. It's seriously been worth its weight in gold. I didn't think I'd ever use one in my house to give stickers for behaviors/things that are normal to do like eating breakfast, completing tasks on your own, or making good choices, but these are odd circumstances and Buttercup already knows exactly how it works from her time in Shelter.

I had a lot of fun setting up our chart and outlining the goals we were aiming for. Currently, we are looking for nice words and listening ears. through this, and other behavior modification techniques, the phrases "I hate ____" and "____is ugly" have been replaced with "I don't want that right now" and " I don't like that today". Note: "I hate chocolate" and " I hate cheese" have been spoken in our home. I KNOW that's not true since those are some of my main tools of bribery!

This system has acted as a way to gain Buttercups trust, she is active in the decision if she gets a sticker or not by trying to remember if she walked to school, or roman carried her etc. On Saturdays, we go to the dollar store and she can pick whatever prizes she wants based on the number of stickers. Its ALWAYS exciting!



Buttercup is really good at making decisions. I went to the dollar store thinking that it was going to end horribly with both of us leaving angry. She has gotten to pick three things the last few weeks, so we carry a basket and when she picks out four things, I say "uh oh, we have four things, which one are you going to put back" she looks and thinks,  you can see the wheels turning and then politely puts one thing back (almost where we found it!). Some decisions are quick, others take a lot of time but its fun to watch her figure it out.



This week we changed some of the goals on the sticker chart- which she found exciting since stickers were SOOO easy to earn before. we will see how this continues.

Jake Ender: Fairy God Uncle

Buttercup has some interesting this she likes to say when we see bunnies outside. It all started on a walk to the park, where we saw a bunny, she froze, and I said: "go get it!"

She went on to say that she was going to "get that bunny!" and "eat his ears" and "drink his blood". We were caught off guard so we were giving her quite a laugh. she kept going to the point where we both thought - wow shes got some anger issues with bunnies- where did she learn that? as I'm looking for images to post.... probably from loony tunes!

She now says similar things about ducks- and the common saying is that she wants to drink their blood- but why? Its all boiled down to "if you catch the bunny (or duck) we can certainly cook it up"

Heres hoping she is as unsuccessful as Elmer Fudd.


We had dinner at Jakes coffee shop earlier this week- Jake made a grilled cheese with a secret ingredient- Bunny Ears!!! dreams really do come true. She said the ears tasted like Jerky.