"Swimming"

Life skills are really important and we have a limited amount of time to teach them to Buttercup. We tried biking, showering, and are working on reading and writing- its summer in Minnesota! Time to try swimming! 

It was a lovely day! Roman had the afternoon off so we made plans to hit the local lake and try swimming! The beach was hoping- everyone is here! Equipt with a snug life jacket, a noodle, Buttercups brave face, and two adults we headed into the water. 

ANKLE DEEP: Buttercups brave face was gone, she was very wary of what is happening and she was looking around at other kids to see what the appropriate response is.

KNEE DEEP: Looking very worried, we approached the first buoy line, not wanting to go under it but complying to our coos of "its okay, were next to you, you can touch!" 

HIP DEEP: Buttercup is NOT ok, she needs to hold a hand and asks to be carried I get her to take a few more steps before she climbs on my back. 

CHEST DEEP: Whimpering on my back, I swing Buttercup's feet back and forth to splash a little and try and prove that this is fun. I slowly knelt on the bottom - she can still touch here, but she doesn't believe me and will stretch her feet out, she is a boa constrictor on my person. 

She eventually scampered up Roman- because he's taller and we walked a little deeper. I tried all of my swimming lesson teaching tricks to try and stop the crying and the fear face. We didn't let go, she was floating around physically just fine, but emotionally a total wreck. 

We tried to get her to go back and forth between us while we stood about 3 feet apart, and she switched between screaming bloody murder, and hysterical laughter- it was a very intense game of child catch. I wanted so badly to just bounce underwater like we do in swim lessons with kids but I used all my mental strength left to not further traumatize buttercup- BUT I REALLY wanted to!!

We tried for a while to get her comfortable in the water but it just wasn't happening- we had to call it quits for the sake of people on the beach calling the cops on us - it sounded like we were torturing her. But I'll reiterate- she had a life jacket on and was clinging to a pool noodle. 

We went back to the beach pausing when she could touch to have her walk herself in, she begrudgingly stretched out her feet to touch the bottom after much coercion, and then stood frozen in the water while Roman and I continued walking. 

Another problem arose when we got to the buoy! I could see her thinking to herself "IM TRAPPED HERE FOREVER!!!" I suggested she could go under it or over it- she considered her options and went under it- disliking very much that it dripped on her hair. 

Once we got back to the beach, we told her to leave her life jacket on and go play. She spent a lot of time watching other kids play and walking half way too them. She couldn't figure out what they were doing in the sand, why they were going in the water on purpose and wondering how she was supposed to play in this sandy landscape. 

I suggested that she could ask the other kids if she could play with them but she was not so interested in that- I taught her all about drizzle sand castles- you have to make them with soaking wet sand so you have to go ankle deep to get the sand.  She constructed a very nice castle, added some sticks, flowers, and rocks for decoration. 

Hopefully, next time will go better and we can get that face in the water, and have a little fun! Because we want to go from this:
 

to this:
 

Sugar Rush- The Hype is Real

It is amazing how real sugar rushes are- truly incredible. On our way to the campground the other day we stopped at Toby's in Hinkley because... you can't just drive by! I got coffee for Roman and I, buttercup made friends with people in the bathroom, and she picked out a strawberry milk "My favorite". We did some stretching, got back into the car and headed out. about the time we hit Grand Casino, roughly 2 miles later we heard the slurpy sound of an empty milk carton. Roman and I looked at each other thinking "buckle up!"



a few minutes later this happened in the back seat:



then this: as we call it "the sounds of your people" (people meaning kids)



and by the time we got to st. croix state park, anything could have been amazing and beautiful!

Scotty The Hottie

On the way to a party fundraiser for Vision Slovakia, I was teaching Buttercup that when people say hello, you say hello back and say your name. She did really well with this at the party and soon picked up that the next question is usually "How old are you". She smartly just threw that in saying "I'm Buttercup, and I'm 5"



On the way home we stopped at Wendy's to grab some dinner, she was talking at me while I was ordering. She was telling me that I didn't have good manners because I didn't say my name to the walkie-talkie. I pulled up to the window and explained that Buttercup called me out on my manners and that my name was Emily, and thank you very much for taking our order.



 This guy was one of those guys that LOVES his job and has a great time working at Wendy's. He responded with "Nice to meet you, I'm Scottie the Hottie! and I'm here to serve!" He and Buttercup are BFFS now.

3 Day Birthday Celebration!!

DAY ONE: 

Birthday Breakfast! 



I tend to limit the amount of pink happening at one time- and distribute it throughout the week and talk about how its possible to choose a different favorite color every day- NOT TODAY! I got out all the pink dishes, a new pink dress, a unicorn crown, a giant pink 5 balloon, pink milk, and made breakfast into a smiley face. She was SO HAPPY! 

Meeting Mom, SHARKS!

I've been looking forward to meeting mom for some time now, we talk on the phone and text daily, but we have never been face to face. Since Buttercups visits are supervised, the supervisor keeps us separated for Buttercup's sake- it is confusing when we are both in the same place. 

I supervised the birthday visit- Mom chose to go to the aquarium at MOA so off we went. There were some odd moments with the three of us together but Buttercup had a great time- which is the only important thing. For lack of better words, the power dynamic was very confusing. Her Mom and I were looking for approval from each other in general, and with a variety of small decisions- which kind of ticket to buy, if she could have gum or not, if/who was going to buy the toys buttercup asked for, etc. 



We walked in, Buttercup was so excited to see Mom! she was showing off her birthday dress and telling her all about her day. I'm don't know exactly why, but Mom brought a giant sheet cake for Buttercup- which needed to be carried around with us for 2 hrs through the aquarium and the MOA- So that's something we did. 

We all had a great time at the aquarium, Her mom got talked into buying the behind the scenes tour which was just the three of us and the tour guide. I think they thought Buttercup was much older than reality since she's so tall- she was very bored on the tour. But we had a great time watching the stingrays, trying to touch the sea anemones, and watching the jellyfish. 



Buttercup has a shark toy she loves, and several shark shirts. So it was surprising to me that she was VERY scared and cried the whole time we were in the tunnel aquarium! there were a few sharks, but there were also other way cool things like turtles etc. She cried the entire time and was so clingy to both me and her mom. 




After the visit, we found Roman and went to Lego Land- she made her own lego people and we had some delicious burgers! It was a great day! 


DAY TWO: PARTY TIME!


My family came for a party! Today there was the giant pink 5 balloon and five smiley face balloons that I hid throughout the yard. We had all the supplies for a squirt gun fight, and a delicious picnic- I don't know if you have ever had these things called chips, but someone brought them and they were delicious!!


one of the funniest things that happened at the party was the appearance of strange children. Now, my family knows that there are random children from the neighborhood that hang out at our house a lot. But these kids I'd not seen before. But my family was very welcoming, and invited them for a hot dog, and some cake! 

Since we had an extra cake from mom, there were sugar comas all around! 




DAY THREE:  Birds and Butterflies

Today was an Emily -  Buttercup date at the zoo! We went to the Bird show, which was her favorite part. It was a beautiful day for the zoo! We came nose to nose with a swimming grizzly, found our favorite animal- the flamingos, and visited the butterfly garden! 

We had so much fun she passed out on the way home- wearing her unicorn horn just like Jellybean did! 

Brave Face

We have been working a lot on building confidence, bravery, persistence, and independence. It's a painful process a lot of the time, but we had a great breakthrough this weekend.

When things get frustrating for Buttercup, her reaction is to completely shut down. She can't be talked through something, she won't walk away, she just is completely unreachable- crying without being to self-soothe, or calm herself down.

When she's in a better mood, we practice "brave face"


"strong face"


"smart face"


"I can do it" face


and of course "silly face" which I'm sure you can imagine.

I've been talking to her about doing hard things- sometimes instead of crying, you can just put on your brave face and do the hard thing anyway. Hard things include writing lower case 'e', riding a bike with training wheels, blowing bubbles in the bathtub, swimming, walking back to the car etc.

Biking has been a really touch and go thing so I decided we should go all the way around the block, so she did her helmet by herself, I grabbed Fred and we headed off. She soon got stuck on a very small hill with her pedals and poor leverage points. I continued walking giving her the choice to stand up on her pedals or get off and push for a few steps and try again. The total Shutdown began. It was an extremely painful 35-minute walk around the block- there are two hills en route and you can only say "KEEP PEDALING, NEVER STOP PEDALING, you're on a hill" so many times before insanity begins.



When we got back to the house, I traded dogs and we went around again- I was determined to break through getting her to persist to success. This time Buttercup didn't get stuck at all, but she did fall twice. I was a bit behind her and was wincing at how she would react to an actual injury. Surprisingly she cried for a minute, got up herself, and got back on her bike. I was shocked! Could it be??? Things I say are actually getting in her head and laying eggs in there????



She later fell again, didn't cry at all, turned and told me " Crying isn't a good choice". I was Speechless!



We ended up doing three laps, and she ended up being VERY proud of herself and her accomplishments. We even called Mama Lisa right away to tell her how well she did on the bike.

Now, to translate this into other aspects of life :D

Procrastination Station

There is nothing Buttercup is better at than procrastinating. She uses her charm, innocence, and curiosity to derail countless tasks during the day.



Almost nightly, Buttercup goes to bed, is content in her room for about 15 minutes before saying with a weak little pathetic voice "I have to go potty". Roman usually shout from our room simultaneously- "then go!" even though we know she went RIGHT before we tucked her in. Whatever, it's not a risk we are going to take if she wants to waste 5 min on the toilet then fine, right?

One night she went, and roman and I continued eating our snacks and watching Parks and Rec, when 45 minutes later we hear the toilet flush-we look at each other and laugh hysterically. She had gone to the bathroom, and we totally forgot. she must have fallen asleep or something because 45 minutes of sitting on the toilet far past anyone's attention span.

Camp Kristy! (respite)

Romans Brother is getting married! We planned a trip to the homeland before Buttercup came into our lives. So we are going to be gone for about Two weeks and she will be going to a respite house through the county. We decided to call it camp since through her experiences, Buttercup has not left a place- and then returned. We want her to feel safe, and happy and know she is coming back to our house when we get back- so we have been talking about our trip a lot.

In kid terms- Roman and I are going really far away, we have to take 3 planes to get there- But we are coming back to get you. We are also going to send so many postcards, but they won't get to our house until we are all back. We visited the respite house so she could know where she would be - there are other kids there and Kristy is really nice, I think she will have a lot of fun!

When she came to us, all her things were in a reusable bag. We already have a suitcase for her for when she returns home- but she gets to help pack to go to camp!

Scared of bridges....?

Often when we are driving there's a little worried voice from the backseat "Emmmoly? are we on a bridge? I'm scared of bridges..."

Explaining that bridges are strong and there's nothing to worry about does not comfort her so now we play games and identify bridges. We find people bridges (pedestrian) train bridges, and car bridges. Buttercup is really good at classifying bridges that are over us.



When we go under a bridge we throw our hands up to the roof of the car- like the game we played as kids. we also hold our breath through tunnels and plug our noses over bridges spanning a river. There aren't graveyards on our normal route- but when we come across one we will hold our breath there too.



what kind of weird car superstitions or games did you play as a kid?  we did all of these I mentioned, and also called fast cars "speedy wheeled butt snippers", and I believe my mom had a song about button pushing gadget freaks when people wouldn't stop playing with the windows.

Saints game, take 2

I'm so glad our Foster day at the Saints game got rained out! We had such a good time the 2nd time around! It was princess day, we saw all the favorites. It was a perfect warm sunny day too! we watched about 2 innings while we ate hot dogs, and then we did a few laps around the stadium looking for the piggy.

Princess Tiana was just as excited to see Buttercup, as Buttercup was to see her it was adorable!
Buttercup liked the cheering and the random clapping and singing that a baseball game brings she also enjoyed cheering for BOTH teams in a very "go sports!" kind of way

Preschool Graduation!

Preschool graduation was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. All the kids had little caps and gowns, and they sang this little rhyme. Buttercup looked so cute in her cap and gown, however, she was not into the ceremony. She was the one who wouldn't smile and refused to throw her hat. It was a kick.

They also all said what they  wanted to be when they grew up- there were doctors, policemen, teachers, and Buttercups answer "uhmmm a grownup!?!"

And the Oscar goes to:

Roman fixed up a bike we had, repainted it yellow, and we added pink streamers to it. We are learning to bike all over town. every sidewalk ramp is scary- and when things get wiggly Buttercup takes their feet off the pedals and swings them around which just makes everything wigglier.



On the way home from the park, Buttercup was going up a sidewalk ramp and in slow motion, the bike tipped over and she stood up- no scrapes or injuries of any kind. She then grabbed her knee and proceeded to hop and limp around. SO much so that another mom pulled over and asked us if we needed a lift.



To that mom: Thank you how considerate!
To my kid: Come on, brush it off and get back on the bike!

PreK Bad Day

Things buttercup cried over this morning: 

1. The "boy shorts" I chose because her rainbow skirt is dirty
2. The socks I chose (I gave her a choice, she chose secret choice #3- not choosing)
3. The sock that fell on the ground- how are you supposed to put one sock on if the other is on the floor????
4. The book I read at breakfast (I gave her a choice, she chose secret choice #3- not choosing)
5. The apricot in her bowl
6. The toothpaste cap- it wouldn't open, but no way can anyone else do it!
7. brushing teeth
8. Not wanting to put on shoes (I gave her a choice, she chose secret choice #3- not choosing)
9. Not wanting roman to put on her shoes for her (again secret choice #3)
10. Putting lotion on her face (again, secret choice #3)
11. Getting in the car

Roman wins patient parent of the day- because when all the women in the house are crabby- Roman Rises.

Flags, Paddles, no Potty

Happy Memorial day! 
We were planning some very patriotic festivities - visiting Fort Snelling for the parade and the costumes etc. But since it was 100 degrees we decided to go to the memorial day parade in Mahtomedi, and go out in the kayak.



Roman and I woke up early to get everything ready- 9:15 is early for a parade! this was the first time we put our 13 ft boat on top of our rav4- it looked proportionally normal, much less clown car-esque when it was on top of the Yaris. Buttercup and I did our best with red, white, and blue, and Roman had a giant eagle face on his shirt.



We walked down to the parade, without water in the heat, and had a good time naming the dogs that went by and waving our tiny flags. Buttercups favorite part was the marching band- so thanks to all the high school kids waking up early on their day off school.

Later, we went to the lake, it was Buttercups 2nd time in a kayak, she wanted to paddle almost the whole time. She has nice big muscles and a lot of stamina. We saw a few turtles, baby fish swimming under the kayak, and we watched a bird catch a fish. There were a lot of paddle splash wars- to combat the heat.

My favorite part of the day was when we were trying to leave the busy boat launch. as soon as we got out SOMEBODY had to go potty. She and I went down to the water and I was explaining how to squat down and be discrete and pee. Of course, it didn't end quite that ladylike. we were standing in ankle deep water, she was screaming "I haaaave to gooooo pooootttyyyy" as she trickled into the lake. Multiple boats were waiting their turn in the launch- we had quite the audience- and I was just laughing hysterically. Then Buttercup screamed as I squshed her legs in the water to rinse off. All in all, a hilarious interaction at the lake.