Toddler Brain

We talk all day long incessantly. We narrate Jellybeans movements, guess on his thoughts, and try and get him to say more words. This not only makes us forget grown up words, but also can make anyone a little crazy.



Its especially funny when people over hear what you are saying and begin questioning all your life choices. Jellybean was walking around eating a cucumber at the farmers market, he kept putting it down on the ground and picking it back up. I figured out he was trying to poop so I said " let me hold that for you, it IS really hard to hold a cucumber and poop at the same time" (in a totally serious voice)

My dad turned to me with a funny look on his face and said "how could you possibly know that?" hmmm good point, that is a very specific experience that I have not encountered ever. I was just guessing.

Another day roman and I both forgot the word for a watering can.... for half an hour. Even brainstorming together we couldn't remember it. flower shower? watering bucket? why are words so hard!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

If you say "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" anything can be fun!


This tactic has worked really well in distraction and redirection. Its also one of my favorite things when he is riding in the car and just randomly I hear a little "weeeeee"  voice from the back seat!

This is especially funny when the "weee" comes out of an unenthusiastic crying face- you have to smile when you say it so it's crying, "weee", back to crying. Hilarious

First Visit

This weekend we had our first visit with Mom. For all the time and energy I spend to try and get Jellybean to nap, and bed, OF COURSE, he fell asleep right as we arrived- the last thing I wanted was to give mom a sleepy, crabby kid. There weren't any social workers involved because the visit was in an in patient treatment center- and the exchange of Jellybean was really informal. It only seemed weird in hindsight though.



We parked in the wrong place and ended up walking almost all the way around a city block to find the right door. then a whole group of people came rushing out of the building to meet us. Jellybean was very overwhelmed and then happy to go. There were step siblings, and who Jellybean believes to be his dad, and some other people too, the whole gang was there! I left pretty quickly just to give the family space.

Three hours is a lot of time to kill. My dad and I went out to lunch at midtown global market and walked around a bit,  and then I still had an hour to wait. It was a drizzly rainy day so taking a walk or sitting in a park wasn't an option. I ended up getting McDonalds coffee, and sitting in the car listening to a Norse Mythology audible book- I totally fell asleep, it was glorious.

Pick up went well too! He ran out to see me when I got there, and I got a little time to talk to Mom, and schedule our next Visit. Jellybean and I had made her a card in the morning with a picture of him, some of his coloring, and a "get well" message which she was thankful for. Our next visit is on Tuesday, and hopefully, it won't be with the whole gang- I think both of them just need some 1-1 time.



Except for the pizza roll and Frosting covered face that was returned to me, everything went well. We have been eating pretty healthy so the frosting went straight to his head. We had a great time running around the skyways while waiting for Roman to get off work. We pushed all the buttons and talked to all the security guards.

Weekaversary!

The week went by so fast! We've had Jellybean for a week now, and things are still going well. We have a good schedule for the day, bedtime is getting better, and the dogs have calmed down, now that they know the frequency of snack opportunities.

We found a preschool for him- he is attending three days a week and doing well so far! He eats like a monster and sleeps all the way through the night- except the 2nd night night terror situation.



Romans favorite thing so far is Jellybeans smile (like hes up to no good) and he always is looking around and saying "whoah!" at anything- a garbage truck, animals at the zoo, a pb&j sandwich, or a stick.



My favorite thing so far is playing with him on the swings, and upside down puppy kisses- because if you hold him upside down he giggles incessantly and both dogs come to check his cheeks for snacks it's a whole family giggle fest.



Jellybeans favorite things are trucks, dinosaurs, eating play dough, wearing a fireman hat- making sure the elastic snaps to his head for security, stomping in puddles, feeding the dogs, swings, watching construction trucks, and going down the big slides in someone's lap.

Bedtime is a B****

It's apparently really hard to sleep in a big kid bed! It was taking progressively longer and longer to get this jellybean to sleep! the first night was 30 minutes (everything was new and exhausting) the second was one hour, the third was two hours.

We tried all kinds of different things! Music, back rubs, rocking, bouncing basically everything turned into a really fun game of playing with toes and talking to himself. This reminded me of when I taught preschool and putting kids to sleep was about as easy as wrestling a snake. 

The fourth night was a success!!! Roman was alone with him all day and was unsuccessful at nap time, despite giving it a real good go. We had a really low sugar dinner (we made the mistake of pb&j yesterday), pounded on play-dough, went for a stroller ride with the dogs, low key bathtime, and watched a little PBS before having a warm milk bottle and rocking to sleep to meditation music. 15 minutes later: SUCCESS!!! Achievement unlocked, we won 2 hours of our life back!

So lesson learned,  Jellybean is still a baby at heart and we will attempt this again tonight and see how it goes. It will be a slow transition to getting him to sleep on his own in his big kid bed.

*Update: the next day took one hour- but No scream! I count that as a win!

20 minute adventure

It is no longer convenient to be "Ender Early". Jellybean does not love the car so just  hanging out until Roman is done with work is not an option. We parked, and had a 20 minute adventure walking around the block, and through the lobby of The W downtown.

All was not lost! We made many friends because the toy of choice for the day was a rubber, squeaky grilled chicken leg (originally a dog toy). It was super fun to throw it on the ground and stomp on it to make it squeak- and we turned a lot of heads hearing murmurs of "is that little kid carrying a steak/pork-chop??"

its a chicken get it right :D  p.s.  it took us 30 minutes to walk all the way around one block.

*for non Ender readers: 'Ender early' means arriving between 20 minutes, and 1 hour before you planned. if your not 15 minutes early, you're late, or probably dead. 

24 Hours of Parenting

The first night went really well, Jellybean (not his real name) has no "stranger danger" which is nice for right now- but a little dis concerning down the road. He also has never met a dog before- but isn't scared of them. Even when Millie was barking her head off at the tiny human. I think her thoughts were "Oh my gosh, your so tiny, are you a human or a robot or an droid or what??? protect the pack!!". Spoiler alert: Jellybean wins her over with his yogurt covered fingers in the end.

Jellybean was dropped off before Roman came home. so he walked into a post hurricane mess level situation. Jellybean dumped all the toys out in the living room  (typical) and Millie was still trying to figure out if these were the droids she was looking for, and Fred just was guard dogging the house as usual. We went on a family walk to the park and played on the playground before dinner, bath, and bedtime. He was a happy camper through all of that - except leaving the park- but I don't blame him.

It was Jellybean's first time in a big kid bed, and (allegedly) the first time he at vegetables. What was the first vegetable he ate, you ask? Oh, the broccoli butt I gave him- intending him to use it to win over the dogs. He ate it instead, he didn't like it- but who eats broccoli butts anyway?

Roman and I slept in all the way to 6:00am! Wow what an experience. Little Jellybean didn't wake up until almost 7, so we were just sneaking around like the Grinch trying not to wake him for a while- consuming all the coffee we could before it happens. Roman was off to work, so we all walked him to the bus stop- Jellybean tried to get on the bus and the driver thought it was really funny and wished him better luck next time. We hit up the swings at the park before going home to play with play dough.

I was that mom at target today. the one with  the sticky tot screaming bloody murder. Why?? because i took the whole bag of grapes out of his lap so the nice Target team member could scan them, BLOODY MURDER. everyone knows you have to have all the grapes in your lap to enjoy them!!!

This is still very surreal but its an interesting challenge and we look forward to more days to come of toddler mayhem!

Literally, a Stork Came.

I wrongly assumed there would be paperwork accompanying the drop off. Not at all! the only things he came with could all fit in one target bag. ONE. TARGET. BAG. There was no paper work, no stuff, no documents to sign the worker just came in told me a few things, he carried his bag in (what a gentleman) and then, apparently, we became parents.

Many of the things he came with are too big, or inappropriate august clothing *cough cough I'm talking to you polar fleece footy pajamas* we have some things- but we will definitely get more! I just wasn't sure what he would have walking in the door. He does have his fire truck which I found out makes noise- it scared the crap out of me when he pushed the siren while we were driving in the car. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped. He also has a picture of- who I am assuming is his mom, which is great and a little heart breaking at the same time.

I went to a few stores, and found myself surrounded by other women looking through kids clothes repeatedly thinking "I have know idea what I'm doing" which is nice to look around and know that every parent thinks that. Solidarity man.

(naptime thoughts of the day)

The Stork is Coming the Stork is Coming!

We got the call, we are getting a stork delivery on Friday at 10:00am! its exciting, and I'm glad we have a few days to prepare. over the next few days we will be touring a daycare, and scrambling to get appropriate clothes etc for the little guy.  We still don't know much, but we are excited!

2nd, and 3rd Placement call

Tuesday:

We got a second placement call on ! of course, we said:


and started planning the rest of our lives. This one would be two in November, and she said he is having a great time climbing out of the crib and getting into things. In my mind- I thought "great! we don't have a crib anyway!"

Of course, I didn't sleep at all that night, too excited, and I was writing a to do list in my head which became very very long.



Wednesday:

Not a great day, still full of excitement/anxiousness and no sleep- still no news. It would be better to have a yes, or a no- but the lingering possibility out there is sure doing a number on my psyche. It was a stormy night No sleep again!



Thursday:

We hear that the child's social worker has been at a training for 2 days... so maybe tomorrow??


Friday

Still no news! But it's Friday so we shall enjoy the weekend.

Monday:
 

Tuesday:

Its been a whole week- still no word on if we are going to get the 2nd placement yet. Its still in the works according to our worker- they got several referrals for family's and the childs worker is still choosing.  However, we got another placement referral with the same initials- exciting! More news to come

Officially Licensed

We got a call from our Social Worker that we are all clear and licensed by the state! (Tuesday June 25)


Not only are we licensed- but we also had our first placement call. I was already planning on meeting Roman at the bus stop to tell him the news! as a dark storm crept on the horizon I was pacing at the bus stop waiting for Roman to come home. We talked over the vague information about the case before we decided to say Yes. we were both terrified and excited.We stocked up on kid food, got some last minute things at goodwill and target, and began waiting for a phone call not so patiently.












Today we found out that the little girl we were anticipating (for only 2 days) was placed with someone else. I think this was a good practice run for a future placement, we got all our ya ya's out and maybe next time we can have it more together- we will see. In the mean time we will send prayers and good wishes to the family that took her in.

I don't know!

We are all done with our side of things. The home study went well and wasn't much to worry about. the inspection is complete, all the references and training paper work is turned in. We are done. Our file gets passed up to the state, and we are just left here to wait it out.

What is interesting is how uncomfortable other people are with not knowing. We both knew getting into the foster process that there would be a lot of time where we didn't know any of the answers to our questions, or your questions. However, I didn't take into account the uneasy feelings we would pass on to our friends and family through their lines of questioning, and our lack of answers.

when do you get licensed?


What kind of kid are you going to get?


When do you get a kid?



What school are they going to go to?


As you continue to answer peoples' questions like this, you can tell they are getting antsy and uneasy for you. I don't mind answering all the questions, but I don't have a lot of information to give, and I am ok with that at this point. For now, I'll just stick with "I don't know- but I'll let you know when I do!" :D

Worked Up for Nothing, and Overprepared: Our Home Inspection

When the government comes to town, you vacuum the baseboards, lock up your knives, and plug all the outlets. Without a list of specifics they were looking for, I went out and researched other people's home inspections and made my own extensive checklist to complete. of course, most of it was unnecessary but at least our entire house is childproofed. In Hennipen county all you need is working fire alarms, a fire extinguisher, first aid kit, working flashlight, and water cooler than 120 degrees coming out of the faucet. That is about it- pretty basic.

The rest of the visit was filled with paperwork, signing nondisclosure, and information protection documents. Our next appointment is in a week- and it is the Home study- more of an in-depth questioning interview meeting. However, now we know who our social worker is and it doesn't seem as scary.

Below are some of the references I use for research on foster care and the process of licensing:

http://www.nobohnsaboutit.com/2014/12/questions-to-ask-when-considering-a-foster-care-placement/

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/homestudyreqs.pdf

http://www.sarahkayhoffman.com/2015/10/07/home-inspection-part-i/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b00zEpedZxE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPSKqw80eYw