KINDERGARTEN!

The first week of school came and went so fast! For kindergarten, it was just a three day week but there was a lot going on.

1. they label all the kids so well! backpack tags, name tags, and 'new kindergartener badges
2. Riding the bus is really fun, sometimes someone has to holler so she gets off
3. What did you do today? "nothing" is just a reflex response, not a learned teenager thing as I thought.


Day one:
We Buttercups backpack was empty- and that didn't seem right so i put an apple in it only to get an email from the teacher later. She very politely asked us not to pack snacks because the apple caused quite a commotion- SORRY! I can totally see it now. Buttercup eats so slow we were worried she wouldn't be able to eat lunch, and sure enough, she got off thebus sucking on the core of the apple asking for a snack


Day two:
On the way home from work I got a call from the school - from something like student body health counselor or something (?) saying that Buttercup got sent to the office for not listening. I was not surprised, the counselor also said that Buttercup was telling her all about how she is new to Minnesota because she moved here from California....... which made me laugh because it's absolutely false. Upon retrieval from the bus, Buttercup says "look I got stickers from Mrs. Fox!" I asked her why she went to Mrs. Fox's office and she said: "Um, duh, to get stickers." OOOHhhkay, no.

Day three:
Buttercup turned it all the way around and brought home a PAWS ticket for being respectful and kind.

We will see how the next week goes :D

Mermaids, Wizards, and Fairies- OH MY!

We made it to the renaissance festival!

To see as much as we could, we got there at opening- so we could see the king talk, and the jokers and be with the excitement of the crowd before the gates open. Buttercup was really excited on the walk to the castle- but there was a little too much weird for her in that crowd, next time I think we will skip that part. Of course, we had her wear her wings so she could fit in with the fairies.



We walked around, saw the petting zoo, and all the people's costumes before we settled down at the robin hood show. She was really into it and ended up going to sit in the front "so she could get splashed". After the show, we ran into a blue wizard, he gave Buttercup a dragon's tear! Apparently, it contains very powerful magic. she wore the necklace until the thread broke but its now safe in her treasure box.

We got some bratwursts and a blooming onion and had a water break before we went to the fairy forest. This whole area is great! there are dragon eggs, an eye spy amount of fairy houses hidden in the woods, there were BUBBLES! and fairies splashing around in the ponds. she even got a fairy stone (the origin of fairy dust) from one of her fellow fairies.



Next, we found ourself surrounded by a parade! we got to watch it two times! then we found all the princesses, learned how to cross stitch with yarn on burlap, and listened to mermaid story time- I was wondering how the mermaid would appear, and I was not disappointed- a servant man to the princesses carried the mermaid over from the pond.


At this point, everyone was very hot and tired, and I was dehydrated from sharing my water. we decided to just go see the mermaids and then start the epic quest to the car. The mermaid area was very exciting! we got squirted by a playful one, got to take a picture with another, and there was one blowing heart bubbles at Buttercup! very exciting! and TOTALLY real!


As usual, the walk back to the car took ages, and Buttercup was telling us she was hot and tired, and her legs hurt- but she stopped whining after I told her the secret: ALL of us are hot and tired and thirsty with sore legs! she had a great nap on the way home, we all had a great time even though we had to call it quits before seeing the jousting, or the Washer Women or other shows. Next time I might pick a cooler day, skip the opening, and bring more snacks in the backpack

S-U-N-D-A-Y

Once upon a time, my brother did and in my opinion- didn't get an appropriate consequence. My mom said "If I grounded him, it would just be punishing myself" - I'm certain that is absolutely true. This weekend as a consequence for buttercup I certainly tortured myself.

All I was asking was what day of the week it is. We caught up on letters, numbers, and spelling- now we are working on days of the week. It was absolutely pulling teeth to get any kind of answer. I know she knows them. I KNOW SHE DOES! She silently pointed to Sunday on the calendar finally.


Me: "ok, what day is it today?"
Buttercup: silence
Me: "point to today on the calendar"
Buttercup: points to the correct day
Me: ok "what letter does that start with?"
Buttercup:  "S"
Me:  Great! what day of the week starts with S?"
Buttercup: "Tuesday"
Me:  "nope, Tuesday starts with a 't-t-t' sound what days start with 'sssss'?"
Buttercup:  "Tuesday"

so we wrote Sunday out, she traced my letters she wrote her own letters. then we started again

Me: "ok, what day is it today?"
Buttercup: silence
Me: "point to today on the calendar"
Buttercup: points to the correct day
Me: ok "what letter does that start with?"
Buttercup:  "S"
Me:  "Super! what day of the week starts with S?"
Buttercup: "Tuesday" now grinning ear to ear. knowing its the totally wrong answer.



We jumped all around singing/chanting about how its Sunday- I made her scream out the door trying to wake up her friend Isaiah across the street "SUNDAY  SUNDAY SUNDAY! its a visit day!" AGAIN...

Me: "ok, what day is it today?"
Buttercup: points to the correct day
Me: ok "what letter does that start with?"
Buttercup:  "S"
Me:  "Good job! what day of the week starts with S?"
Buttercup: "Tuesday"


I could have let it go. But I couldn't- she was trolling me so hard!  So I downloaded a days of the week song we listened to it on repeat all the way to Roman's work and alllll the way back home, then while we practiced writing days of the week at home. The song was mind-numbingly dull and irritating- but I figured, the more annoying, the better she might catch on right?? 45 minutes after we began listening to the song she stops and says "wait..... did they just say Sunday??"

After her visit, and picking up Roman, he asked her "what day is it today?"

Buttercup: [enthousiastically] "Tuesday!"

St Croix State Park Camping!

Playing Outside
After the sugar rush from the strawberry milk, we arrived at the campsite. Buttercup was very confused about what we were planning on doing but was taking it in stride. As we started setting up the tent Fred got so excited- he loves going in and out of the tent, and Millie was thinking "finally, I get to sleep outside like the real animals"

As the words of my parents continued to fly out of my mouth as we were setting up camp, we realized that she had no idea how to play outside. Each time we said, "this job is for grown-ups, please go play" she would wanter away and shrug at the campsite itself wondering what "play" meant when there isn't a play area or toys. She eventually figured out that the bush was a pretty good fort/play kitchen, and digging for treasure in the sand pit is pretty fun. She made a pretty delicious pinecone soup.

How do the smallest things take up the most space?

Bugs and Blooms
We attended a ranger program, and it was really great! It was packed with kids, and they played games learning what foods need pollinators, and what kind of animals are pollinators, made a butterfly craft, and went on a bug hunt. There was also a very intricate bee and flower costume that some kids got to wear during the program.



Pinterest Fails
From a quick search on Pinterest, I got a few ideas of activities to do while camping. One of them was Camping bingo- but we used it as a scavenger hunt. Had I looked more carefully I could have come up with a much better list, but I didn't, so we looked for a raccoon, and a hotdog on a stick, and some other things for a long time. We even ended up asking some of our neighbors if they brought their pet raccoon camping with them. Unfortunately, they did not.



Trail of Tears
We brought the bike.  The map said there were bike trails, and there was, the one we wanted to do was not paved, and not training wheel compliant. We did a different trail into the deep swampy woods. Someone couldn't keep it together. Buttercup had a total meltdown about the bike and we ended up just standing in the woods being eaten alive, waiting for Buttercup to make a choice of
 1. Start pedaling
 2. Get off and push the bike
she chose #2, but she took the smallest slowest steps I've ever seen in my life. It was the longest two miles. We all survived, barely.


Almost a Whole Hike
We went on a short hike, the plan was to do a 4ish mile hike. Roman and I started the MN state park hiking club, so we wanted to get the password for St. Croix state park. Buttercup did really well we took turns being the leader. Unfortunately, there was a thunderstorm on the horizon and we had to turn around before we got to the scenic part. We shouldn't have turned around, later I figured out we were .1 mile from the password!


What I Would Do Differently Next Time

• Pick a campground that has a playground, the one here was 5 miles away
• Leave the bike- at home. forever. 
• Bring more snacks

The Feelings Doctor

Per the Social Worker, Buttercup and I went to the feelings doctor (aka therapist). We just had an intake evaluation, and a meeting about the plan of action we will take, but I already feel so much better about her progress in our home and her behaviors. 

Buttercup had some intense dreams a month before our appointments, so I told her that we were going to the Doctor of feelings and she could tell them all about her scary dreams, and they would make her feel better. That totally jived with her, for a week or two she was telling all her friends that she was going to the Doctor for feelings. 

How I imagined the "Doctor of feelings": 

The appointment itself was mostly Buttercup playing with different toys, and me filling out questionnaires and talking to the therapist about what some of her issues and behaviors are and how we deal with them at home. It was really reassuring to have someone else see what I see, and tell us that we are reacting the correct way, and dealing with it well. It's always great when you can have someone else confirm that you are not crazy!

"Swimming"

Life skills are really important and we have a limited amount of time to teach them to Buttercup. We tried biking, showering, and are working on reading and writing- its summer in Minnesota! Time to try swimming! 

It was a lovely day! Roman had the afternoon off so we made plans to hit the local lake and try swimming! The beach was hoping- everyone is here! Equipt with a snug life jacket, a noodle, Buttercups brave face, and two adults we headed into the water. 

ANKLE DEEP: Buttercups brave face was gone, she was very wary of what is happening and she was looking around at other kids to see what the appropriate response is.

KNEE DEEP: Looking very worried, we approached the first buoy line, not wanting to go under it but complying to our coos of "its okay, were next to you, you can touch!" 

HIP DEEP: Buttercup is NOT ok, she needs to hold a hand and asks to be carried I get her to take a few more steps before she climbs on my back. 

CHEST DEEP: Whimpering on my back, I swing Buttercup's feet back and forth to splash a little and try and prove that this is fun. I slowly knelt on the bottom - she can still touch here, but she doesn't believe me and will stretch her feet out, she is a boa constrictor on my person. 

She eventually scampered up Roman- because he's taller and we walked a little deeper. I tried all of my swimming lesson teaching tricks to try and stop the crying and the fear face. We didn't let go, she was floating around physically just fine, but emotionally a total wreck. 

We tried to get her to go back and forth between us while we stood about 3 feet apart, and she switched between screaming bloody murder, and hysterical laughter- it was a very intense game of child catch. I wanted so badly to just bounce underwater like we do in swim lessons with kids but I used all my mental strength left to not further traumatize buttercup- BUT I REALLY wanted to!!

We tried for a while to get her comfortable in the water but it just wasn't happening- we had to call it quits for the sake of people on the beach calling the cops on us - it sounded like we were torturing her. But I'll reiterate- she had a life jacket on and was clinging to a pool noodle. 

We went back to the beach pausing when she could touch to have her walk herself in, she begrudgingly stretched out her feet to touch the bottom after much coercion, and then stood frozen in the water while Roman and I continued walking. 

Another problem arose when we got to the buoy! I could see her thinking to herself "IM TRAPPED HERE FOREVER!!!" I suggested she could go under it or over it- she considered her options and went under it- disliking very much that it dripped on her hair. 

Once we got back to the beach, we told her to leave her life jacket on and go play. She spent a lot of time watching other kids play and walking half way too them. She couldn't figure out what they were doing in the sand, why they were going in the water on purpose and wondering how she was supposed to play in this sandy landscape. 

I suggested that she could ask the other kids if she could play with them but she was not so interested in that- I taught her all about drizzle sand castles- you have to make them with soaking wet sand so you have to go ankle deep to get the sand.  She constructed a very nice castle, added some sticks, flowers, and rocks for decoration. 

Hopefully, next time will go better and we can get that face in the water, and have a little fun! Because we want to go from this:
 

to this:
 

Sugar Rush- The Hype is Real

It is amazing how real sugar rushes are- truly incredible. On our way to the campground the other day we stopped at Toby's in Hinkley because... you can't just drive by! I got coffee for Roman and I, buttercup made friends with people in the bathroom, and she picked out a strawberry milk "My favorite". We did some stretching, got back into the car and headed out. about the time we hit Grand Casino, roughly 2 miles later we heard the slurpy sound of an empty milk carton. Roman and I looked at each other thinking "buckle up!"



a few minutes later this happened in the back seat:



then this: as we call it "the sounds of your people" (people meaning kids)



and by the time we got to st. croix state park, anything could have been amazing and beautiful!

Scotty The Hottie

On the way to a party fundraiser for Vision Slovakia, I was teaching Buttercup that when people say hello, you say hello back and say your name. She did really well with this at the party and soon picked up that the next question is usually "How old are you". She smartly just threw that in saying "I'm Buttercup, and I'm 5"



On the way home we stopped at Wendy's to grab some dinner, she was talking at me while I was ordering. She was telling me that I didn't have good manners because I didn't say my name to the walkie-talkie. I pulled up to the window and explained that Buttercup called me out on my manners and that my name was Emily, and thank you very much for taking our order.



 This guy was one of those guys that LOVES his job and has a great time working at Wendy's. He responded with "Nice to meet you, I'm Scottie the Hottie! and I'm here to serve!" He and Buttercup are BFFS now.

3 Day Birthday Celebration!!

DAY ONE: 

Birthday Breakfast! 



I tend to limit the amount of pink happening at one time- and distribute it throughout the week and talk about how its possible to choose a different favorite color every day- NOT TODAY! I got out all the pink dishes, a new pink dress, a unicorn crown, a giant pink 5 balloon, pink milk, and made breakfast into a smiley face. She was SO HAPPY! 

Meeting Mom, SHARKS!

I've been looking forward to meeting mom for some time now, we talk on the phone and text daily, but we have never been face to face. Since Buttercups visits are supervised, the supervisor keeps us separated for Buttercup's sake- it is confusing when we are both in the same place. 

I supervised the birthday visit- Mom chose to go to the aquarium at MOA so off we went. There were some odd moments with the three of us together but Buttercup had a great time- which is the only important thing. For lack of better words, the power dynamic was very confusing. Her Mom and I were looking for approval from each other in general, and with a variety of small decisions- which kind of ticket to buy, if she could have gum or not, if/who was going to buy the toys buttercup asked for, etc. 



We walked in, Buttercup was so excited to see Mom! she was showing off her birthday dress and telling her all about her day. I'm don't know exactly why, but Mom brought a giant sheet cake for Buttercup- which needed to be carried around with us for 2 hrs through the aquarium and the MOA- So that's something we did. 

We all had a great time at the aquarium, Her mom got talked into buying the behind the scenes tour which was just the three of us and the tour guide. I think they thought Buttercup was much older than reality since she's so tall- she was very bored on the tour. But we had a great time watching the stingrays, trying to touch the sea anemones, and watching the jellyfish. 



Buttercup has a shark toy she loves, and several shark shirts. So it was surprising to me that she was VERY scared and cried the whole time we were in the tunnel aquarium! there were a few sharks, but there were also other way cool things like turtles etc. She cried the entire time and was so clingy to both me and her mom. 




After the visit, we found Roman and went to Lego Land- she made her own lego people and we had some delicious burgers! It was a great day! 


DAY TWO: PARTY TIME!


My family came for a party! Today there was the giant pink 5 balloon and five smiley face balloons that I hid throughout the yard. We had all the supplies for a squirt gun fight, and a delicious picnic- I don't know if you have ever had these things called chips, but someone brought them and they were delicious!!


one of the funniest things that happened at the party was the appearance of strange children. Now, my family knows that there are random children from the neighborhood that hang out at our house a lot. But these kids I'd not seen before. But my family was very welcoming, and invited them for a hot dog, and some cake! 

Since we had an extra cake from mom, there were sugar comas all around! 




DAY THREE:  Birds and Butterflies

Today was an Emily -  Buttercup date at the zoo! We went to the Bird show, which was her favorite part. It was a beautiful day for the zoo! We came nose to nose with a swimming grizzly, found our favorite animal- the flamingos, and visited the butterfly garden! 

We had so much fun she passed out on the way home- wearing her unicorn horn just like Jellybean did! 

Brave Face

We have been working a lot on building confidence, bravery, persistence, and independence. It's a painful process a lot of the time, but we had a great breakthrough this weekend.

When things get frustrating for Buttercup, her reaction is to completely shut down. She can't be talked through something, she won't walk away, she just is completely unreachable- crying without being to self-soothe, or calm herself down.

When she's in a better mood, we practice "brave face"


"strong face"


"smart face"


"I can do it" face


and of course "silly face" which I'm sure you can imagine.

I've been talking to her about doing hard things- sometimes instead of crying, you can just put on your brave face and do the hard thing anyway. Hard things include writing lower case 'e', riding a bike with training wheels, blowing bubbles in the bathtub, swimming, walking back to the car etc.

Biking has been a really touch and go thing so I decided we should go all the way around the block, so she did her helmet by herself, I grabbed Fred and we headed off. She soon got stuck on a very small hill with her pedals and poor leverage points. I continued walking giving her the choice to stand up on her pedals or get off and push for a few steps and try again. The total Shutdown began. It was an extremely painful 35-minute walk around the block- there are two hills en route and you can only say "KEEP PEDALING, NEVER STOP PEDALING, you're on a hill" so many times before insanity begins.



When we got back to the house, I traded dogs and we went around again- I was determined to break through getting her to persist to success. This time Buttercup didn't get stuck at all, but she did fall twice. I was a bit behind her and was wincing at how she would react to an actual injury. Surprisingly she cried for a minute, got up herself, and got back on her bike. I was shocked! Could it be??? Things I say are actually getting in her head and laying eggs in there????



She later fell again, didn't cry at all, turned and told me " Crying isn't a good choice". I was Speechless!



We ended up doing three laps, and she ended up being VERY proud of herself and her accomplishments. We even called Mama Lisa right away to tell her how well she did on the bike.

Now, to translate this into other aspects of life :D

Procrastination Station

There is nothing Buttercup is better at than procrastinating. She uses her charm, innocence, and curiosity to derail countless tasks during the day.



Almost nightly, Buttercup goes to bed, is content in her room for about 15 minutes before saying with a weak little pathetic voice "I have to go potty". Roman usually shout from our room simultaneously- "then go!" even though we know she went RIGHT before we tucked her in. Whatever, it's not a risk we are going to take if she wants to waste 5 min on the toilet then fine, right?

One night she went, and roman and I continued eating our snacks and watching Parks and Rec, when 45 minutes later we hear the toilet flush-we look at each other and laugh hysterically. She had gone to the bathroom, and we totally forgot. she must have fallen asleep or something because 45 minutes of sitting on the toilet far past anyone's attention span.

Camp Kristy! (respite)

Romans Brother is getting married! We planned a trip to the homeland before Buttercup came into our lives. So we are going to be gone for about Two weeks and she will be going to a respite house through the county. We decided to call it camp since through her experiences, Buttercup has not left a place- and then returned. We want her to feel safe, and happy and know she is coming back to our house when we get back- so we have been talking about our trip a lot.

In kid terms- Roman and I are going really far away, we have to take 3 planes to get there- But we are coming back to get you. We are also going to send so many postcards, but they won't get to our house until we are all back. We visited the respite house so she could know where she would be - there are other kids there and Kristy is really nice, I think she will have a lot of fun!

When she came to us, all her things were in a reusable bag. We already have a suitcase for her for when she returns home- but she gets to help pack to go to camp!

Scared of bridges....?

Often when we are driving there's a little worried voice from the backseat "Emmmoly? are we on a bridge? I'm scared of bridges..."

Explaining that bridges are strong and there's nothing to worry about does not comfort her so now we play games and identify bridges. We find people bridges (pedestrian) train bridges, and car bridges. Buttercup is really good at classifying bridges that are over us.



When we go under a bridge we throw our hands up to the roof of the car- like the game we played as kids. we also hold our breath through tunnels and plug our noses over bridges spanning a river. There aren't graveyards on our normal route- but when we come across one we will hold our breath there too.



what kind of weird car superstitions or games did you play as a kid?  we did all of these I mentioned, and also called fast cars "speedy wheeled butt snippers", and I believe my mom had a song about button pushing gadget freaks when people wouldn't stop playing with the windows.