Five Reasons Visits Are Weird

1. How much or how little do you share?
I want to tell her all the progress Jellybean is making with his speech and his independence, how he is doing in daycare, what healthy foods he eats etc. Since he can't really share anything with her, I feel like I should be his voice- but I also don't want to come off snobby or make her feel inferior in any way. We are all here to care for this sweet kid- and do our best by him.

2. Everyone thinks you know something they don't
I have a limited knowledge of Jellybeans' case. Like I've said before, the stork came, dropped off a kid, and now he lives with us. For how long? I don't know. What does the case worker say? I don't know. When will mom get overnight visits? I don't know. I am in a blind spot- I don't know moms side of the story, and I also don't know what the case worker thinks about when things will start progressing for Jellybean's transition home.

3. All the Judging
I feel like I am being judged on everything- every toddler scratch, bruise, and outfit choice. Simultaneously I am sure she feels judgment from me as well and I don't know how to break this tension. I can't imagine being in her shoes.

4. Acknowledging everyone's pain
Moms, Jellybean's, step siblings, the boyfriend. everyone.

5. After visit behaviors
We have noticed that right after visits, and sometimes right before if we talk about what is going to happen, there is a lot of hitting that happens. This isn't normal behavior for daycare, or at our house. I also have seen Jellybean hit mom right after drop off. I'm not sure where this comes from because usually, he is so sweet and funny- its always right in the face, and followed by a glasses grab- good thing Roman is so good at cleaning glasses.